Hello my name's Spotty and I'm a dog. Some say I'm a naughty dog, and I guess they're right cos I love getting into scraps n all. Boris Bear thinks I'm pretty bad, but him being German and a stickler for rules, he would wouldn't he.
Anyways Sam I just had to do it. You know get away. That blasted ginger cat of yours was terrorising me. You should rename him Musthaffa.
Heard you Dad was off on some mad jaunt so decided I woulds come too. I mean we went to Romania and fought vampires, then Morroco with those Cobra snakes and humpy camels. I likes going to other places to bite other animals, and the chance to come and nip the tail of an anaconda, well just had to come mate didn't I?
Course your Dad was a bit surprised when he found me in his boot (he should change his socks more often, travelling in a smelly boot for 24 hours was not fun, and I hate gorgonzolla cheese!).
Anyways this is how I did it. One weekend I snuck into your overnight bag and got to the Chicken House in Rossett (where Welsh collies live. Hide in the cupboard under the stairs for a bit then got into the walking boot (left one to be precision like) and got packed in his rucksack. No first class travel for me NO!. In the blooming cargo hold no less. Once I felt we had taken off I got out and had a wander round the hold. Some girls doll was packed deep in a bag and couldn't get out. Sad she didn{t want to copme out when she found out I was a dog, so I growled at her he he he.
Got discovered by yer Dad when he came to put his boots on for going over to that island. He took it alright, I mean I'm not heavy to carry am I?
The island was OK. There were loads of other dogs there, but not one could speak English. I tried talking loudly, even waved my ears round a bit, but nope. Surely they understand "Woof", but all they says back is sort of "woofo". What the blooming does "Woofo" mean?
Went swimming on Tuesday. Course they didn{t have four small fins for my paws, nor a mask for my little snout, so I just jumped in a doggy paddled. This sea lion sealk thing comes up to me, I expected trouble. I barked at it, and guess what, blimey! darn think barked back!. Bah mammals that think their fish, it's not right is it?
Came away to get away from ginger cats, mmmm, yeah what comes through the window on day one, yeah bloomin ginger cat. Home from home eh.
Anyway gotta go and chase a hummingbird now - tricky things them, thet're like bees, you think your gonna catch one, then it flies off in a direction you didn't think off.
I'll get one though..............Woof!
